Tuesday, January 11, 2005

More Predictions

Big Ellstradamus was dismayed to find out that other sooth sayers were making predictions for 2005. He was also peeved to learn that one of these so called sooth sayers, an 'astrologer,' was from Taiwan, Professor Yu Hsueh-hung, 54.
Professor Yu made many bold predictions. He claims that the USA will suffer more terrorist attacks because of Bush's foreign policy. He predicts that the American economy will boom because of these attacks (Dubya can only dream). He also states that "China will not be involved in the war, but will continue its robust economic growth. Taiwan-China ties will improve and Taiwan may even lift the ban on postal, transport and trade links with China." Big Ellstradamus now makes his predictions for Taiwan and China.
Taiwan and China
  • Man of the Year: James Soong, the lecherous leader of the PFP will take some big steps in 2005. He will lead the PFP into a loose coalition with the DPP. The death of Koo Chen-fu, the top China-Taiwan negotiator creates a vacuum. Soong will fill this vacuum with the support of Chen Shui-bian who will use PFP votes to ram through much needed legislation needed to stimulate the economy. In the role of head PRC-ROC negotiator, Soong will be able to help bring about the three links between Taiwan and China. He will be viewed as a hero by the Taiwanese and Chinese business elites. Who will continue to fill his coffers with the blackest gold in Asia. Soong will declare that he is the only man capable of bringing peace to the straits. Soong will then be perfectly positioned to make a big run for the Presidency in 2008.
  • China: The Chinese economy will continue its metamorphosis from the world's sweatshop to it's assembly line. The robust growth of past years will slow, primarily caused by high energy prices (The W Factor). This economic slowdown will cause more internal problems in China. Conflicts between the growing middle class and growing poor will cause even more problems in 2005. Hu will respond with an iron fist reminiscent of his best work in Tibet.
  • Taiwan: The country's cities will remain for the most part filthy. Big Ell will talk about seeing more Taiwan but will end up at home most of the time. Celebrity scandals will continue to make headlines with Jay Chou and Jolin Tsai splitting up because of another woman. Another trend will continue with more and young female celebrities opting for breast enhancement surgery.
  • Taichung: More foreigners will come to teach and more will leave. There will be a large loss of quality folks as a some long timers will head on out. Some of the same people will soon be back. Bush's America will continue to drive more Americans to Taichung with mixed results. Which goes the same for the new Canadians, Aussies, Kiwis, Brits and South Africans. Costco will be opened to a parade down Chung Kung. One of the repetitive and boring Taichung Monthly magazines will run out of foreigners to feature and will finally bite the dust. A veritable Taichung foreigner landmark restaurant will close. Any guesses?


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