Bill Ell has hired noted prognosticator Big Ellstradamus to make some predictions for 2005. Big Ellstradamus has a proven record. Not only did he predict voter fraud in Ohio but he also predicted it in Florida! He also predicted that the USA wouldn’t be leaving Iraq! So brace yourself, for the next week or so as Big Ellstradamus makes more predictions in different categories.
- The Longest Yard starring Adam Sandler will be the worst remake of the year and Big Ell will still pay to see it.
- Star Wars: Episode III will be the best of a god awful trilogy as the fork digs deeper into George Lucas’ back.
- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy will have nerds lining up at ticket booths worldwide.
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Tim Burton and Johnny Depp will be a quirky dark comedy.
- The Dukes of Hazzard will be painful with Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg and Stiffler as Luke Duke.
- King Kong will be almost as big as Steven Jackson.
- Kung Fu Hustle starring Steven Chow will be the biggest Asian movie.