Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The Great White North

I always hated the cops when I lived in Calgary. They were aggressive and not afraid to painfully subdue me when I was drunk and disorderly. I always thought they were stupid. Well they still are.

Apparently the Calgary Police Chief, Jack Beaton went to China to recruit some cops but was dismayed when he found out:

"I didn't realize very, very few people speak English over there, especially in policing,"

Wow, unfuckingbelievable, there isn't much English being spoken in Chinese. Who could have guessed that? Maybe he should have used Google to run a search for English Speaking Police China, before heading to China to find this extremely rare species of police officer. He would have found this site third on the list and saved Calgarian tax payers some money. From the Google search results:
The police in China are generally very friendly, though they speak very little English except in Beijing, Shanghai or Shenzhen, where some police can
It gets even better. Former Canadian diplomat and organized crime specialist Brian McAdam questions the desire to recruit police from a country with a documented long history of corruption in policing. McAdam said:

"[it's] pure insanity."

Well I think they should come here first. The Calgary cops should recruit in Taichung. The cops speak a bit of English, are kind of clean and they don't do much in terms of policing. Calgary has speeding cameras, quality strip bars and I am sure they will be hooked on Tim Hortons in no time.


Fraser said...

I'm sure the Taichung cops would be able to lower the crime rate in Calgary. They would just have to introduce their methods to the Calgary police.

My favorite: Problem - The crime rate is too high. Solution - Don't accept reports of crime. Rationale - If people don't report crimes, the crime rate will fall. Benefit - Lower crime rate means bigger CNY bonuses.

You see, everyone wins! The crime rate goes down and the police get their bonuses.

Anonymous said...

I don't know which groups I don't like more but I do know i dislike Canadian police, always getting in the way of my boozing and drugging.

That's an amazing story, though. You simply must email him your google string.