Palpatine vs. Benedict
As you know, last week was a shitty week of work for Big Ell. I was in the mood for blood. Then I started surfing the internet to research for my Wasting Time features which always perks me up. I stumbled upon something I figured could be fun and interesting for the whole family and my spirits were raised yet again. So in the spirit of Pope John Paul and Old Dirty Bastard, I bring to you, Big Ell’s Death Pool 2005, this pool will be a straight up rip off of the Gorilla Mask Death Pool. The full rules are on that site, but here are the basic rules:
- The pool will run from May 12 2005 to May 12th 2006.
- Contestants must choose 10 people who are going to die between the given dates
- Points are awarded for a correctly predicted death will depend on that person's position on your list. If the #1 person on your list dies, you get ten points. If the #10 person croaks, you receive one point etc.
- There is also an age factor. When you make a correct prediction, you'll receive a bonus tenth of a point (0.1) for every year that person falls short of their 100th birthday.
- Let's say you believe that Ben Affleck isn’t dead yet and rank him at #1 on your list, and he dies at the age of 33. First, you receive 10 points for ranking him #1. Since he’s 67 years short of his 100th birthday, you receive an extra 6.7 points, to bring your total score to 16.7. Good work!
- Pope Benedict- Pope Palpatine has to be one of the top candidates.
- King Fahd- He is 81 with health problems so an easy mark. Currently in the hospital, so keep your fingers crossed.
- Lady Bird Johnson- I was shocked to find out that the former first lady was still alive and kicking.
- Keith Richards: His heart has to stop beating at some point, doesn’t it?
- Hulk Hogan: Will all of the steroids finally end Hulkamania?
- Charlton Heston: What will the NRA or Israelites do if Alzheimer’s takes him?
- Liz Taylor: She didn’t make it to Cannes will she make it through 2005?
- Boris Yeltsin: Two fisting pints of vodka has to have taken its toll.
- Augusto Pinochet: If any deserves to die, it’s probably this guy.
- Abe Vigoda: Fish sleeps with the fish in 2005!
- Paul Reubens: Pee Wee Herman could be the upset special.
- JohnWooden: The Wizard of Westwood will only get you a few bonus points but is 95.
- Bob Denver: Gilligan will finally reunite with the Skipper in the sky..
- Muhammad Ali: I’d hate to see him go.
- Brian Mulroney: Former Canadian Prime Minister may be out of trouble but for how long?
- Osama Bin Laden: Surely they’ll catch or kill him this year.